Compassion and Integrity and maybe a little Courage
Writing this blog is very rewarding for me. Seeing how many people take a look at what I have written is a real ego boost. But, I started tracking which ideas were hitting home the hardest with my readers and I found that 2 articles have been viewed many times more than any of the others. These two articles were on Caring and Integrity; with caring getting a 1,000 more views than integrity.
When I started looking into why these two topics were so highly regarded, I noticed that there is an entire curriculum from Life University on Compassionate Integrity. As I dug deeper I discovered that a great deal of research has gone into these two qualities as being critical for Legacy Leaders along with one other component, Courage. It turns out that people will follow a leader that they trust and that trust must exist on three levels; reliability, believability, and vulnerability. If I am going to really trust someone, I must have faith that the person will be there when they say they will. I must also have faith that what that person says and does is honest, forthright, and not completely self-erving. We all are doing whatever we do because we believe it will fulfill our needs and wants but the best of us also want to make sure that what we do is not detrimental to those around us. Finally, I must have faith that the person will not take advantage of me when I am most vulnerable. This level of integrity seems to be so rare today but when we find it, wow!
When someone has the integrity that produces the trust we have just described, we know they care. It is not a hollow honesty that can throw your weaknesses right back in your face in the name of being honest. It is an honesty that says we all make mistakes and we all have weaknesses, it is how we deal with them together that will determine how we can all move forward together. In today’s society, where bullying is all the rage, people fail on the third leg of this integrity stool. Many people look for where the weakness exists and then exploit that weakness for any one of a number of reasons. This blog post is not about those bullies, however. The bullies are the true cowards of our society. This blog post is about those courageous few who learn of a vulnerability and then take the time to help the vulerable live more fully inspite of the weaknesses that exist.
In today’s society, there are many that say this type of compassionate integrity is weak and misguided. There is a trend for many so-called leaders to exploit whatever weakness they can find. These are not leaders, they despots. It doesn’t matter where we find them, let’s call them what they are. They are Bullies! The truly courageous people in today’s world are those that want to build people up, not tear them down. They do want to help the people they lead find their weaknesses so that they can take proactive and preventative steps. They want to make sure those weaknesses don’t limit success. But their real purpose is to help each person find their strength so that they can use their strength to create even greater success.
The thinking behind bullying and despotism is based on a view of the world that says there are very limited resources and if other people get these resources, I will not have what I need and want. The thinking behind compassionate integrity is the belief that the resources of the world are abundant and there is more than enough for everyone to share. Me having hundreds of times more than what I need and preventing others from even having the bare necessities, is not only immoral, in the long run it will not serve my own selfish purposes either.
It’s not about socialism. It’s not about lowering standards. It’s about opportunity, courage, compassion and integrity. In the face of conventional wisdom, we must have the courage to say, enough is enough. The bullying has to stop. The lack of integrity must not be tolerated. We must have the courage to allow leaders who have Compassionate Integrity to rise to the positions of authority that will really make a positive difference in our schools, communities, businesses, and state and national government. When we, as a society, finally realize that a leader can be courageous and compassionate and when we demand that they have those three levels of integrity, we will all be much better off!
Cheryl Lohner
drjbnewman
Newman’s Legacy Leadership Blog 
Provide dolls with diversity. While it’s important for kids to see themselves reflected and represented in the toys they play with, it’s also important for them to see their brothers and sisters of the world represented, too. Provide your kids with learning materials that don’t look like them. The marketplace still has some work to do, but it’s come a long way in providing a bigger selection of dolls, action heroes, and other pretend play materials that represent different cultures, ethnicities, and diversities. Mattel is launching a new Barbie line in the fall of 2019 that will include a doll who uses a wheelchair and a doll with a prosthetic leg. Even the baby dolls at the Dollar Store come in two different skin tones. We can help our littles learn to include those who don’t look like them by including toys that don’t look like them. This is a small change we can make that doesn’t require tons of extra time or energy; it’s just a matter of looking to the right or the left on a shelf. I’m all for simplicity! Help those who are less fortunate. This might seem cliche but there’s so much value in showing our kids how to take care of the people of the world. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Sign up for a slot as a holiday bell ringer. Donate to a food pantry. Participate in the canned food drive at school. Pick up blankets and supplies from the Dollar Store to assemble goody bags for the homeless. Show your children that there are less fortunate people in this world not to create guilt or pity, but to teach that these less fortunate people are humans too, and humans need to take care of each other because sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down and someday you’re gonna need some help, too. We all belong to each other. AMEN.
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Thank you for your comment. Perhaps the best way to create more Legacy Leaders in the future is to begin teaching our children the value of true compassion as children. Your comments remind me that our future is our children.
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