Why Doesn’t Anybody Listen to ME?

Do you ever get the feeling that nobody listens to you? Have you ever asked yourself why? This is a common occurrence. Many people feel like no one is listening. Why does this happen?

My experience is that people who feel this way have an expectation problem. They expect more from people than those people are willing to give. No one has an obligation to listen to you. If you want to be heard, you must present a compelling case to those who you’d like to have as an audience. It doesn’t matter who your audience is. It can be friends, family, co-workers, or complete strangers. If they don’t have a reason to listen, they won’t.

One common mistake people make is talking too long without providing an opportunity for listeners to think about what you’ve said. Another mistake is not considering what your audience is willing to listen to and how long they might be willing to listen. A third mistake is talking about a subject that listeners don’t appreciate or don’t understand. And an important forth mistake is to use language or terms that are offensive to listeners. Telling stories that listeners find demeaning or disrespectful can turn an audience against a speaker in just a few seconds. If the speaker isn’t aware that what is being said is offensive, the speaker just hasn’t prepared well enough for the occasion. The last mistake I’ll mention is failing to truly engage the audience with a topic they find compelling.

If you feel like you’re not being listened to, you are probably right. The question remains; what will you do to rectify the situation? It’s not any one else’s job to get people to listen to you. That’s your job! It doesn’t matter who you are. You can’t force people to listen or demand a fair hearing. You are not guaranteed an attentive audience. Don’t expect respect and courtesy. You earn those by how you handle yourself. You must first be respectful and courteous of others. Then they may return the favor.