The Tightrope Walk of Expectations!

Sometimes we assume that people around us know what we expect. That can lead to disappointment. The expectations game is a tightrope act at 300 feet and no net. To succeed in this game it is best to be well prepared. And, the best preparation is to make sure everyone knows exactly what you expect. As soon as the expectations dialogue begins, we can start to determine how realistic our expectations are. So now we have two critical rules for this game; everyone knows what is expected and those expectations are realistic.

Those two rules, knowing and being realistic, are not the only rules. The third rule is understanding and the fourth rule is agreement. Your team can know what you expect and feel those expectations are realistic but if they don’t understand how to meet those expectations or if they don’t agree to meet them, disappointment is sure to follow. Wow, this is getting complicated. There are four rules for having expectations? Actually, there are more.

Beyond knowing, reality checking, understanding, and agreeing, there is commitment and capacity. Team members might know and agree with an expectation, fully understand what to do, feel it’s realistic, but also feel that it’s a lower priority or not believe that they have all the resources needed for success. Preparing for success is hard work. And having unclear expectations does not help in that preparation. There might be more rules for having expectations but let’s stick with these six.

If, as a Legacy Leader, I make sure my team is clear about every expectation, the work of my organization becomes more focused and more manageable. This clarity of expectations is based on the six rules: 1) knowing, 2) reality checking, 3) understanding, 4) agreeing, 5) commitment, and 6) capacity. Never assume that any one of these rules has been met. Check these for every expectation. You’ll be amazed at how much more success you’ll experience when you use this approach. Assuming that each rule has been fulfilled is taking that tightrope walk without doing everything you can to prepare. There’s no net down below and falling will be catastrophic.

As a young leader I made plenty of assumed expectation mistakes. I thought I’d give 2 examples to show how harmful failing at the expectations game can be. My first example was from one of my very first jobs. I was a Science Teacher and a coach at a large suburban high school in the Chicago area. An opening occurred for the head baseball coach at another high school in our district. The athletic director wanted me for the job and we started making plans for the summer program. I expected to be approved for the position, so I started making arrangements for games and practices to start in 2 weeks after school was out for the summer. I was making phone calls and missed the start of the senior awards assembly and the seniors had voted me Coach of the year. I was conspicuously absent when they called my name. I never expected the honor but I did expect to be named the head baseball coach at the other high school. My failure to follow the 6 rules I now suggest caused a group of seniors to feel I had disrespected them and sent a message to the other school that I don’t always do what I’m required to do. It cost me that head coaching position and it hurt the feelings of a great bunch of young men.

The second example was from many years later, when I really knew better but my desire to do something really innovative and exciting caused me to forget the lessons that taught me those 6 rules. This example is from my years as the County Superintendent of Schools in Michigan. I heard about a great way to save our district some money while continuing to provide the same level of benefits to our staff. I made the assumption that the staff would be happy to go with a new health insurance plan that cost us considerably less and gave them the same coverage with less out of pocket expenses. There were a few changes in how claims were filed but I figured no one would care when it meant the same coverage at less cost. Boy was I wrong. Without thinking, I had violated at least 4 of my rules and most likely all 6! The members of the professional association filed a grievance and demanded we go back to our old insurance. It didn’t make any difference if I was right or wrong. The staff wasn’t buying in. They never felt like they knew what was happening, the didn’t agree, they didn’t understand, and they certainly weren’t committed to the decisions I made. The good news was, we could fix it, I could eat plenty of crow, and in time we could rebuild the relationship I had tarnished with my staff. If I’d only slowed down and followed my own rules, perhaps the staff would have accepted the change with open arms or maybe not. But had I followed my own rules, I wouldn’t have caused so much grief and we’d been in the same place any way.

In my career as a leader, this set of rules has been extremely valuable. When I followed them, my chances for success increased dramatically. If I didn’t follow them, that’s when I faced my biggest failures. Here’s those rules again: 1) knowing, 2) reality checking, 3) understanding, 4) agreeing, 5) commitment, and 6) capacity. Check for each of these when you expect to achieve a certain outcome. Believe me, they help.